I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize