Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
