im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
