this boner is exhausting
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
