and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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