Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
