So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
