So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
