oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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