why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
