Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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