Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
