Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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