In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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