I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
