i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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