If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
