I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
