so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
