i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
