I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
