It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
this is an emotional support booty call
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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