is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
