it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
is it fun? or sober?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
