Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
