i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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