She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
