All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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