Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
