My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
