maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
