DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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