i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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