So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
