I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize