you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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