I wish I only lived at night.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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