I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
