I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
