I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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