U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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