Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
