How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
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