I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
