is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Randomize