bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
