I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
