This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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