someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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