They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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