Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize