ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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