You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize