I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
