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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?

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• (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

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• (516): View more from New York

  There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.

  (817): View more from Texas

  For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?

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• (925): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.

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• (858): View more from California

  You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy

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