He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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