Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Houston, we have a blender
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
